Life can be messy, difficult, and painful. Sometimes when the adults in a family are living with, or working through, their own pain, children can bear the brunt of their stress. This most commonly looks like a lack of support, neglect or abuse.
Mental health professionals define a family as dysfunctional when a family faces multiple internal and external conflicts. Internal conflicts originate within the family unit and can include mental illness, domestic violence and strained relationships between siblings or between a parent and child. External conflicts are pressures on the family from the outside world – gambling, extramarital affairs, alcohol or drug abuse and unemployment can all negatively impact the basic functioning of the family unit.
The effects of family dysfunction, particularly on children, can be felt for years after a child has left the family home. Individuals seeking treatment to help them make sense of the impact of family dysfunction often need to ‘reframe’ their way of thinking and the way they approach situations. Psychologists offer many different treatment approaches, including cognitive, behavioral and psychodynamic therapies. Family therapists, in particular, view the family as one unit, and use therapy and behavior modification to help family members see problems, events and behaviors from a broader perspective.
What is a functional family?
A ‘functional’ family, is a unit where the adults are the center of the family, working together as a team, and creating a secure environment for the children. In these types of family situations, there is low conflict, a high level of support and family members feel safe, loved and respected. Children who have grown up in functional families are usually better equipped to navigate the emotional and social challenges of adulthood, having spent time observing a respectful, emotionally secure environment in their early years.
No family is perfect, though! Even in the most peaceful, functioning homes, there will be arguments, and people say and do things they want to apologize for later. The very best parents raise their voices from time to time. A family that is functioning in a healthy way will see family members apologize, and be forgiven, when tempers flare. The situation may be very different in a home where a family is not functioning well.
Is my family dysfunctional?
All families go through time of trouble, whether financial or relationship stress, the burden of grief, a medical diagnosis, or any number of unique situations. Family dysfunction is characterized by damaging behaviors including aggression, limited affection, neglect, addiction or violence. If this sounds like your family, there are a number of ways you can get help right now. You can make a change and break the cycle of dysfunctional behavior. If this sounds like your own childhood or past experience, there are many options to help you heal old wounds that you may feel are just a part of life.
How can I help heal my family?
According to Psychology Today, the best place to start healing is with yourself. By taking responsibility for your life and feelings, setting appropriate boundaries and respecting the feelings and boundaries of others, you can make a change that gradually becomes the new normal.
The support of a psychotherapist or mental health professional can be life-changing for families in crisis. Family therapists work to open the lines of communication between family members, help establish healthy behaviors and empower families to recognize the causes of certain behaviors, work through family problems and foster a more positive home environment.
Mental health professionals offer several types of counseling, depending on your family’s unique needs. These therapies are aimed at identifying and addressing emotional, psychological or behavioral problems affecting the healthy functioning of a family unit. The benefits of counseling depend on the family’s individual situation, but will provide family members with the tools they need to build and maintain healthy relationships both inside and outside the family. Counseling can also help individuals develop meaningful boundaries, improve communication, family dynamics and relationships, teach coping tools, address dysfunctional interactions and improve problem solving abilities.
Family Relations Intervention can help you and your family improve relationships and grow together as a strong family unit. Call us today for a confidential discussion about your situation. We would love to hear from you.